Of Mice and Men

I’m in need of a new toaster. Why you ask? Because my husband JC thinks that I’m not always right.

I am always right. Unless I’m wrong, then I’m not right. But in those cases I just keep my mouth shut. I like being right.

This is the story of the dead toaster and why my sweet JC is wrong…..

We were sitting in the living room watching T.V. or talking, or playing with Monkey or something. We were doing something, okay? I don’t remember the specifics. Get off my back.

I do remember hearing our cat Jinx (the story behind her name is a whole nother blog post, I’ll get to it someday) in the kitchen making some odd noises. I look in there and she is up on the counter with her nose in the toaster, pawing away at it like crazy. I say to JC, “What is she doing? Oh, please tell me there’s not a mouse in the toaster!”

Jinx likes mice. She likes them a lot. And she’s great at catching them. And leaving the remains in the shower for me to step on in the morning if my eyes aren’t all the way open yet.

So we go into the kitchen to check out what all the commotion is…. And yes, there was a mouse in the toaster! We could just see his little butt and tail sticking out from the side at the bottom of it. I commence to tell JC that he needs to get that mouse out of MY toaster this very second.

Let me clarify, I’m not afraid of mice. Growing up in the country we had them all the time, they are actually kind of cute, but I certainly don’t want them anywhere around my food!

We try shaking the mouse out, no luck. Pulling the crumb catch out, no luck. The little booger was hiding in there and was not about to come out while Jinx had her eye on him.

JC gets the bright idea to TURN THE TOASTER ON. I tell him to not do that. I can live with a mouse being in the toaster, but I most definitely can not handle having a burnt up mouse in there! He proceeds to turn it on saying it will coax the mouse out.

After a few seconds of this coaxing and no mouse, I shut it off. He turns it back on and puts a cast iron skillet on top to keep the heat in, to once again, coax out the mouse. No luck. After a few seconds of this, I tell him it’s not working and to just stop because the mouse is going to burn up and I can’t have that. I like this toaster and don’t want it ruined.

This toaster isn’t anything special, but it was a wedding gift and I LIKE it. It’s big enough for bagels and toasts bread at just the right brownness without burning. You know like this:

Not this:

But most importantly, I don’t want to have to buy a new one.

Before I can reach over and shut it off, I see smoke coming up out of it, and think to myself, “This isn’t good. This is EXACTLY what I don’t want and exactly why he should listen to me in the first place!” But out loud I say, “Honey, it’s smoking. The mouse is burning up and it’s smoking. I’m not happy.”

He pulls off the skillet and gets a nice big whiff of what was cooking. It wasn’t good.

So sorry I don’t have pictures of the toaster or of the poor little mouse, but I didn’t want PETA getting on my back. We already don’t see eye to eye. Maybe when I buy a pretty new toaster I’ll show you a picture of it.

Moral of the story: Listen to your wife, especially when she’s always right!